Community Vigil & Into the Light Walk

Tonight, Friday, September 9, 2011 an Into the Light Walk and fireside vigil will be held at Liberty Park, beginning in the northeast corner of the park at 8:00 p.m.

There have been four attacks (that I have read of) on young gay men in Utah within the past few months, and after one particularly brutal one on August 31, community and religious leaders have been galvanized to come together for this supportive event.

Please read more here about the Into the Light walks that have been taking place around the country since May 2011. I have heard people say that they are tired of feel-good events that don't address the horror and discrimination people of "different" sexual orientations and gender identities experience in our society on a day-to-day basis. I just want to respond with these remarks, which I've been asked to share at tonight's vigil and walk :


My name is Elaine Ball. I was recently certified by the American Humanist Association to be a Humanist Minister here in Utah. I want to thank the organizers of this event for bringing everyone together this evening, as well as for inviting me to speak briefly as a representative of those whose “faith” is not traditional, who may not believe there is a god, or who may not see the relevance of a god in their lives.


As a Humanist, I believe that morals arise from a common sense of human value. The attack on Dane Hall on August 31, as well as other recent attacks have been, in the words of the Utah Pride Center, “attack[s] on all of us.” This could have happened to you. This could have happened to one of our moms or dads, to one of our sisters, brothers, or children. This could still happen to any of us.


I am here to tell you, though, that as members of this human family, we do have the power to change our world for the better, and, more specifically, to change our selves, our families, and our neighborhoods for the better! Come out to your friends, family members, and neighbors, in rallying support against destructive behaviour such as these attacks. Please, begin the vital conversations with your peers that will turn hearts and minds toward love.


I would like to reach out to those of you who may not identify with a specific religion or faith tradition, and say, let us work together! Let us all work to build the bridges necessary to come together as one human family in support of love, for all of humanity!


I would like to finish by sharing these thoughts from local humanist leaders:


Florien Wineriter, Board Member and former President of the Humanists of Utah, says that:


“ As a Humanist, [he] define[s] Morality as those actions and thoughts that contribute to the growth and dignity of human life; immoral actions and thoughts denigrate and destroy life. The physical and verbal activities that injured Dane and others should not be tolerated by a civil society. ”


Lisa Miller, also a current Board Member of the Humanists of Utah, says:


“ [It is] extremely damaging when we have this idea that everyone has to be forced to be the same or [else] be shunned/beaten/ridiculed out of the group. We [all] have different likes and dreams and goals and abilities . . . [and] great pain comes as soon as we start trying to force everyone into the same box. The beauty of a humanistic philosophy is that we embrace and encourage the differences of individuals, rather than having the far opposite reaction of violence, enforcement, and fear. ”


And finally, Board Members Wayne Wilson & Jason Cooperrider share:


“ [Humanists] strongly oppose hate crime ~ humanism means understanding humanity's role on this earth, and striving to achieve its' potential for ourselves and our posterity – such that all humans are treated with an inherent dignity, equality, and respect! Society is most benefited when others are embraced for their differences, rather than persecuted for them. Life would be very boring if everyone were the same. ”


Thank you again, for coming here tonight in support of love and equality for all!

Tim DeChristopher

Have you heard of Peaceful Uprising? Also known as PeaceUp, they are "defending a livable future through empowering non-violent action." At the helm is Tim DeChristopher . . . recently sentenced to 2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine "for protecting our future, while corporate CEOs walk free with millions of dollars for destroying it," as their site eloquently protests.

On Tuesday, July 26 I watched Tim DeChristopher walk from the Peaceful Uprising rally of support to the courthouse to be sentenced . . . camera crews, attorneys and many others surrounding him. I began to cry. We are all Bidder 70. He was absolutely composed; ready to deliver this speech before the judge . . . the judge who spoke of "so-called environmentalism" and showed no understanding of the actual impact of what Tim has done.

I just finished writing my first letter to Tim, c/o the Davis County Correctional Facility. I do not know if he will have the time or ability to return my letter, but I hope in the future to send him some pictures as well, drawings from myself and my siblings showing the beautiful earth we are grateful he is determined to protect.

He strikes me as a poet-prophet, in the vein of Walt Whitman and Henry David Thoreau. I hope that he will be freed from this 2-year sentence.

Love, Your Family

To Whom it May Concern,

It has been said that "family" is not about "love." I have heard from some that "family" means, only, that blood is shared, passed on through the sperm of one male human and an egg of one female human. That's it. A God intended it, and your family is your family because of this and only this situation having taken place. Not because they love you, or because they have given you any reason to love them. But only, and I repeat, only, because they bore you in a certain way.

Yes, they cared for you. Yes, they fed and clothed and sheltered you and showed you a certain kind of love in the best way they knew how. But why did they try to show this love? And why would they rip it away from you? Any reason? Can you think of any reason why you would remove your love from the life of your child? If "family" is only about a God having meant for certain things to be, then of course. If this God commands you to burn your only son, then of course you'll do it. You'll even give him the wood to carry to his own alter.

But perhaps "family" actually does mean "love." Perhaps "family" is something more complicated and difficult than sperm meets egg. Perhaps "family" goes back to the literal interconnectedness of every living thing on this planet. Perhaps we are all family.

I need to give voice to parents of adopted children. I need to give voice to strong birth mothers who give their biological children to others because they are not in an emotionally and/or economically healthy position to raise that child from birth to adulthood. I need to give voice to all families and say, if you believe in a God who only speaks to a certain select number of this vast human race . . . perhaps you have never met an adopted child. Perhaps you have never offered sheltered to an abandoned teen. Perhaps you have never known a niece or nephew who couldn't talk to their parents, but could talk to you. Perhaps you have been living your life in a way that no one who does not share your selective world view would feel able to "come out" and speak to you as a loving, supportive, caring human being they could trust.

Do you, honestly, when you look inside yourself, see a family with adopted children as "less" ? Do you, really, when you stop to think, believe that your God created some of his children as "less" worthy of your love?

This saddens me and I hope that, someday, I may welcome you into my family. My human family. Of love. Because my definition of "family" has broadened to include you, even if you disown me. Even if you disagree with me, hate me, or wish I didn't exist because your life would be "easier." My definition of "family" means human beings who genuinely care about other human beings, allowing them into their hearts and homes.

I am a humanist, and I love you.

Fred Edwords and the United Coalition of Reason

Fred Edwords is the Executive Director of a national non-profit organization which inspires me greatly. He is a past president of the American Humanist Association (from 1984 - 1999) and wrote one of the phenomenal documents about Humanism I mentioned in my last post. He was also an editor of Greg Epstein's recent New York Times best-seller, "Good Without God - What a Billion Non-Religious People Do Believe."

The United Coalition of Reason is the name of this non-profit which so inspires my life. This group has coordinated with groups around the nation to put up billboards which I would be surprised if you haven't seen on the news. They say, "Are You Good Without God? Millions Are." or "Good Without God? You Are Not Alone." or "Don't Believe in God? Join the Club." and they give the websites of local Coalitions of Reason, such as the Utah Coalition of Reason which is recently blossoming into one amazing community resource.

Because many people who are not affiliated with an organized religion do not consider themselves "joiners," it can be difficult to perceive that you are alone in your non-belief. It can be frustrating to see your children pressured into participating in religious activities with friends, or having the impression that if one is not religious, one is automatically seen as "bad" or "a bad influence." These billboards are in no way proselytizing, or trying to "recruit" people of faith to stop believing. They are reaching out to those in closets in our communities, to say, "Come out!" Stand up, be proud of your beliefs, even when they do not in any way come close to those of the mainstream. Be proud of what you do stand for as a non-religious person! There are many of us, and it is time for the stereotypes to end that say we are not, or can not be, good, contributing, strong human beings.

Fred Edwords is coming here, to speak with the Members, the rank-and-file, of all the non-theist groups in Utah. As a Coalition we have been trying our best to get the word out to all the members of these groups. Please, if you are Good Without God in Utah, and/or know anyone who is, send them to meet Fred Edwords this Sunday, May 15 at 1:00 p.m. at the University of Utah. Find the Event Page online here, and please share the great news with all your friends, that these billboards will be coming here!

American Humanists and the Humanist Manifesto

The American Humanist Association is an organization I have been a member of for two to three years now. As I began to leave the religion of my youth, I began also to read and study all I could about other faith traditions. Reading Karen Armstrong, Dawkins, Pinker, Harris, and others, I eventually came to the conclusion that religion was historically created by humankind, so I began to continue my search for truth through humanistic pathways. I continually look for the good in humanity, and I have found it in abundance. I became a Humanist because everything I read about Humanism aligned with how I was coming to see the world as a place where people could actually work together as a human race to reach common goals.

I have recently begun the process of applying to become a Humanist Minister, so that I will be able to officiate at wedding & commitment ceremonies, child welcoming celebrations, and memorial services. During this process of asking people I know to write reference letters, and filling out thoughtful responses to the questions on the application, I have been learning more and more about my Humanism - as my life-stance, my chosen belief system. I feel that I am quite young to be applying to become a Minister, at only 26 years old. But I feel so much joy and compassion from every document and book I read related to "Humanism and its Aspirations." This is the very title of the "Humanist Manifesto III, a successor to the Humanist Manifesto of 1933.

I have now read through it multiple times. My highlighter seems a superfluous tool, as I agree and connect with virtually every sentence strongly enough to highlight it. I hope you will read it, if you are curious to know what I believe, or if you want to know more about Humanism and to what, exactly, that word refers. It is truly beautiful.

Elaine's Responsibility Code

First of all, the inspiration for this post's title :

1. Always stay in control.
2. People ahead of you have the right of way.
3. Stop in a safe place for you and others.
4. Whenever starting downhill or merging, look uphill and yield.
5. Use devices to help prevent runaway equipment.
6. Observe signs and warnings, and keep off closed trails.
7. Know how to use the lifts safely.

I saw this posted near the cashier at the Park City Mountain Ski Resort yesterday when checking out my ski rental equipment. It comes from the National Ski Areas Association and is called "Your Responsibility Code." I found it most helpful to have start-off guidelines for etiquette and safety in an area I had never been and where I had no idea of what to expect. Many of the code items were similar to what I observe or expect when hiking, so this immediately put me at ease. But the first one on the list sure made me smile! Stay in control. So, here is my "Responsibility Code" of sorts; these are my suggestions for how to "stay in control."

What I learned the first day :

1. This is not a comfort sport. Don't expect to be comfortable when learning; it will hurt! As I read on one site, "Get in shape to ski. Don't ski to get in shape." I found this amusing more than annoying, because honestly, skiing is a luxury sport. The lifts and runs and equipment are all expensive to maintain and make available. So I found it amusing to put my foot into that first rental boot, only to look around me thinking, people pay for this kind of discomfort? (see what I learned day 2 for better news) But how could I feel annoyed? Surprised a bit, but perfectly ready to take a deep breath and think about something else ... like the fact that I would soon be learning how to ski down a mountain of snow!

2. Don't take your skis inside restaurants. People look at you funny. This is why there are complimentary ski racks to lean them against right outside the restaurant doors.

3. Learn how to walk in heels. (again, see what I learned day 2 for better news) I spent all of the first day thinking I should go home and practice walking in heels more often ~ toe-to-heel, toe-to-heel, like an elegant princess! I used to walk like this, "to practice being a princess," when I was a little girl ... but I never did become graceful, I always looked like a fool doing it! I also looked like a fool all the first day of wearing those rental boots.

4. Do yoga. I should have done an hour of yoga the night before my first time skiing ~ you wouldn't think it looking at those people all bundled up the way they are, but you want to be flexible if you're going to be a skier.

5. Skiing can be very much like ice skating.


What I learned the second day :

1. Wake up early, eat delicious and filling food, drink plenty of water (and go to the bathroom), and don't be opposed to warming up the insides with an early afternoon cocktail! I luckily learned each of these things simply by being grateful I did them, not by experiencing any mishaps like having to go home early because you peed in your getup.

2. Rent equipment from a place that gives you amazing-quality boots that don't hurt and beautiful blue Salomon skis! Then you also learn that your toe-to-heel endeavors didn't actually make any sense whatsoever, so scratch that bit about learning to walk in heels ... there still remains no reason I can think of for that kind of torture being a good idea.

3. Don't cry when you fall. It's not so bad, and then once you have fallen, if you went on something super-challenging for your level, you learned exactly what you should work on next so you can do what you just did again, later, without falling.

4. Always stay positive. Look around you and learn. Even if something's hard or it hurts, you're still skiing! Keep moving (and be willing to move SLOWLY) and you'll get better.

Sixty cents per glove

This is a post about the Homeless Youth Resource Center at the Utah Pride Center. TINT stands for Tolerant Intelligent Network of Teens, and the group serves youth ages 14-20.

This amazing resource available here in Salt Lake City gives me hope for the future. Lesbian, Gay, Besexual and Transgender youth are much more likely than their heterosexual or non-gender-queer peers to be thrown from their homes, abandoned to the streets. But with places like this, they have a place to go - to be accepted for who they are!

In this cold weather, I think more and more each day of the times when I barely had enough to eat, and how grateful I am that I never had to be cold out on the streets. Salt Lake City can be so harsh in the winter! But not only do I have plenty to eat and a warm place to sleep, this morning I was particularly reminded of how lucky I really am.

I sat down in my car and it had frost on it for the first time this season. It's a brand new Toyota Corolla, so the heat works spectacularly. But of course it takes a few minutes for the heat to get going in the morning. Let me repeat that . . . a few minutes. That's it! And yet I'm shivering, complaining to myself, etc. I start thinking I will stop at Smith's Marketplace after teaching this morning, and pick up a pair of their gloves I've seen near the front doors for $1.19.

Let me repeat that . . . One dollar and nineteen cents. I started thinking just how lucky I really am, with my heater blaring within five minutes of walking out my front door, and a few dollars available to myself to purchase a cheap pair of gloves for cold-steering-wheel blues.

When I got to Smith's this morning, I picked out 11 pairs. One for me, black with cute white string sewn around the sides, and 10 others, of all shades and patterns available. I took the bag to the TINT at the Utah Pride Center, hoping to offer the teens there some colorful comfort this winter.

I would like to encourage you to the the same ~ I think we can all spare sixty cents per hand to warm!